Desperately Seeking Hockey

Dear NHL Players and Owners:

I'm a seriously stressed out hockey fan that really needs her fix. Every year I suffer through the NBA, March Madness, MLB. I can take it only because I know that in the fall, my beloved hockey returns. In September, I get my jersey out from the winter box, clean it, and hang it in my room, at the ready. I double check with the cable company to make sure I'm lined up for Center Ice. I print out the schedule for MY team, and then I wait. This has never been a problem until now.

Please stop being petty, selfish, pig-headed babies. Think about the fans. Think about the ones who depend on you. Think about the countless children sharpening their blades in idol worship. Think about ME damn you! You owe it to all of us (ME) to do the right thing. WE are (I'M) the reason you're all overpaid anyway.

You have until midnight tomorrow to pull your heads out of your collective asses and make things work. I can do without sex for a short while. But I can't do without sex AND hockey. Prove to me there's a reason I stay a fan.

Face-off or Face Me,

Pua