Brrrr...It's A Little Chilly Around Here

Despite the fact were in the middle of a scorching SoCal heat wave, things have been downright frosty around here. Perhaps it IS the temperature that's causing sudden bursts of nastiness all around me. Perhaps it's just the everyday monotony of making daily trips back and forth to the SNF (Skilled Nursing Facility) or "Sniff" as the staff calls it. Yeah, the word itself brings unpleasant thoughts to mind. Perhaps its just the lack of nookie in my world. Whatever the reason is; it's kinda ugly. Even the ants that I've been battling in my kitchen have decided to go on sabbatical and visit more pleasant climes. I'm okay with that.

Saturday, while I was visiting Mum-in-law, I watched as she offended the people around her. Now, for the most part I understand that she wasn't doing it deliberately. And I try to take into account that she's in a good amount of pain, that she's old, and that she'd probably rather be home than stuck in a "dump and die" (HER words, NOT mine and it's not like that at all). But sometimes, the compassion leaves me when she says stupid-ass things and treats the people around her like crap. After physical therapy, where she actually put some weight on her new hip and took two steps, she was in a bit of pain. So the physical therapist went to get a nurse to give her a pain pill. The nurse was a very pretty woman, with OBVIOUS features that would lead one, by a simple glance, to KNOW that she was more than likely from India. The bindi in the middle of her forehead would be a dead giveaway, even to the ignorant. Apparantly not to Mom:

Nurse: (with slight accent) Is your pain moderate or severe?

Mom: Huh?

Nurse: (a little louder) Is your pain moderate of severe?

Mom: I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish.

Nurse: I'm not speaking Spanish. Is your pain moderate or severe?

Mom: Huh? (Looks over at me for help.)

Me: (loudly) Mom, she wants to know if you have a lot of pain, or a little pain.

Mom: Well, all she had to do was say that. I don't speak Spanish.

Nurse: (perterbed) I'm not Latina, I'm Indian. I don't speak Spanish.

Mom: With all you dark skinned girls around here, it's hard for me to tell.

Me: (under my breath and putting my hands in my face to hide my embarrassment) Oh God.

At this point, Mom takes the administered pain pill and the nurse leaves. I took the opportunity to say something:

Me: You know Mom, what you said just now to the nurse was offensive.

Mom: What? What did I say? I didn't say anything wrong. It's not MY fault I didn't understand her.

Me: Well, you could have simply said; "I'm sorry, could you say that a little louder and slower? I didn't quite understand." You didn't have to mention ethnicity.

Mom: Oh well (shrugging her shoulders) EVERYONE around here looks Mexican. How am I supposed to be able to tell one dark-skinned person from another?

Me: You see? That's a perfect example. Why would you say something like "dark-skinned person?" Mom, I'M a dark-skinned person for heaven's sake! You don't even have to bring that up. It's offensive, AND rude.

Mom: Well Honey, I don't mean it that way.

I wouldn't be surprised if the staff begins spitting in her food.

Not minutes after this, Mom's bedside phone rings and it's Bryson. He's mumbling something about his sister being on crack. I tell him I'll go outside (you can't use cell phones in the facility) and call him back while Mom is finishing her breakfast.

Me: Okay Grommet, what's going on?

Bryson: It's Averie. She's friggin crazy!

Me: What happened?

Bryson: I was putting a new coat of wax on her surfboard for her, and she flipped out.

Me: Bryson...tell me the whole story.

Bryson: That IS the whole story.

Me: Okay, don't play games with me.

Bryson: Fine. While I was putting wax on her board, I peeled the stickers that she had on it off. They were in the way. Besides, what's the big deal, she hasn't used her board this summer. She's being a drama queen. (He's starting to figure it out)

Me: First; let's be real about this. I'm not stupid and neither is she. The only reason that you took her board down and started waxing it in the first place is because you intended to use it. Did you even ask her if you could use it?

Bryson: Well....no. But I don't see what the big deal is.

Me: The fact that you don't see what the big deal is, is probably the reason that your sister is having a fit. You didn't even ask. It's hers. You had NO right to touch her board without asking her. Next, taking the stickers off HER board...c'mon Buddy, you KNOW you're on a sinking ship. Bail out now. You were wrong and you owe her an apology AND new stickers. Put your sister on the phone.

Averie: He's an ass.

Me: Yeah, yeah, and you're over-reacting. It's a few stickers. They can be replaced.

Averie: Those stickers had good memories.

Me: And you still have those memories intact. His peeling the stickers off doesn't take your memories away.

Averie: (crying) Well, he shouldn't have touched my stuff.

Me: You're absolutely right. I'll beat him senseless when I get home. After I finish off your Grandmother.

Averie: (laughing) Is she being poopy?

Me: To say the least.

Averie: Sorry.

Me: I gotta go. I'll take care of this later. Okay?

As I stood there on the outside patio, cell phone in hand and my resolve a bit shaken; I contemplated my life as it is. This was the tip of the iceberg. Some days, I just feel like I'm sinking. Some days, I can tread that water endlessly. I know it's gonna get even harder and some days I'm really scared. I wonder if I have what it takes to handle it.

Then I noticed the view. Wow. All the madness, for the moment, goes away and the frost is lifted. I watch the boats in the harbor and the ocean beyond. It's beautiful. You can't look at that and be sad. It's warm and lovely and peaceful. I take a deep breath, and then head back inside to run interference. Maybe I should ask for a pain pill...