Close Your Eyes, Make A Wish, and BLOW!

It's been a hell of a week. I'm tired. And this little angel above is probably exactly what my birthday angel looks like. It's actually how I feel. I feel much older than I really am. I used to think that I would never be able to say the "F" word when someone asked my age. I was in such deep denial about it that I would say "I'm thirty-eleven" or "thirty-twelve". Now I'm the double "F" word. That's right. I'm ONLY 44. But damn, I feel 100.

Today I'd like to play. I'd like to be a kid without any cares in the world. I'd like to blow the candles out and really have my wish come true. I'd like to have ALL your phone numbers so that I can call you when I've had my birthday drinks and I can slur my words and you can laugh at me. I'd like to forget about hospitals, and in-laws, and nursing centers. I'd like to find a playground, and sit on a swing, and have Charlie push me high. So high I can touch the clouds. I'd like to have no one to take care of but me for just this one special day. Just this one day.

But it's ok. I'll take a walk on the beach BEFORE I go to the nursing center. I'll drop my kids off at school and they'll give me birthday hugs. I'll go to lunch after I make sure Mom eats and I'll order "an American meal" and make sure they give me fries. I won't have to share my fries with anyone. I'll pick up my son from waterpolo practice, and my daughter from drama practice. I'll come home tired but grateful for simple pleasures, good health, and love in my life. Happy Birthday to me. Lucky Girl.