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Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Dream Ears Girls

Okay, so life's been a little crazy. What could be better than "Girl's Day Out" at the Magic Kingdom? I'd say that's pretty much on my top ten list. Two of my favorite people and myself taking a few hours and leaving the grind behind. Aves & Caris were anxious to get me on the Tower of Terror. I guess it's good fun to scare the pee out of your mother and have a picture to prove it.

So, off we go, mid-week, thinking that it wouldn't be too busy and we wouldn't have to wait in long lines. Of course, our thinking was severely askew. As always, the place was buzzing. Even worse, we showed up on Cheerleading Championship Day and so were literally surrounded by pom-poms and ringlets plastered in Aquanet helmets. All afternoon we made jokes about how if the world required saving by rescuing one of these peppy little high-kickers, we might just have to let Armageddon arrive unhindered. Then we reminded ourselves what lucky "Pass-tards" we are that if we become overwhelmed by our surroundings, we could simply leave and come back another day. Ahhh, Disney Annual Passes rock.

Fortunately for us, the cheerleaders all had performances perfect for our timing and we got right in the short queue for the elevator ride into The Twilight Zone. The girls led me here and there, watching my face the whole time for my reactions on my virgin voyage. "Stand here Mommy. Look over there Mommy." And on it went. Without trying, I gave them exactly what they wanted, my excitement and terror evident throughout. I could hear them laughing as I screamed through drop after drop. That, I must say, is a kick-ass ride! I probably would have been okay waiting in line if we'd had to.

After it was over, I barely had time to catch my breath when Caris hurried us out so that we could go and see our picture on the screen. Sadly, we arrived at the monitors in time to see a split-second of our pic, only catching the last few digits of the identification number. Stepping up to the photo counter register, we asked the girl why our pic disappeared so quickly and gave her the only numbers we had. She told us that the picture must be "lost" and apologized. A second or two later, someone told us that a rider in our elevator must have done something vulgar in the picture (i.e., showing skin, flipping the finger, etc.) as that's the only reason a pic would get "lost" so quickly. Caris was devastated. She really wanted that picture of the three of us, especially since it was my first time on the tower and apparantly my reactions were, in her words, "priceless." I reminded her that we could simply get on the ride again and get the next picture. Sticking out her cute bottom lip, she responded that it just wouldn't be the same as the first time.

We walked away from the tower with a very sad Caris between myself and Averie, and tried to cheer her up. Averie decided now would be a really good time to go into the Animation exhibit and do "voiceovers" in Ariel's Grotto. Still sad as we turned the corner and headed into the building, Caris' demeanor quickly changed when out of the blue, a Disney Castmember handed us some "Dream Ears". We had no idea why we got them, but the Castmember had a huge smile on her face, said "Congratulations!", and quickly disappeared like our picture from the tower. Okay, this is a nice bonus....free ears. We put on our silver ears, went in, oblivious to our good fortune, and sang "Hakuna Matata" with Timon and Pumba.

When we emerged from the exhibit, we decided it was a good time for lunch. As we walked along, still giggling about our hats, a couple of Castmembers were walking by us and one of them stopped right in front of us and with a big smile exclaimed, "Hey! Congratulations Ladies! We smiled obligingly, but she could see the look of confusion on our faces. "Don't you know? You're Winners!" She went on to explain to us that our "special ears" are limited edition Disney Dream Ears to commemorate Disney's Year of a Million Dreams. "You can't buy these ears, girls. They're highly coveted AND we're only giving away a few a day." We asked how we got so lucky and she explained that it's a random thing, we were just at the right place at the right time. Suddenly, her excitement spilled over onto the three of us and we all, including the two Castmembers, started jumping up and down, giggling like children, clapping and saying, "We're Winners! We're Winners!" The lost tower picture completely forgotten with our good fortune over some silly, silver ears.

The rest of the day, we were constantly being told by passersby, "Congratulations!" and "Yay!" and asked over and over by other visitors where we got our Dream Ears. We thought this must be what it's like to be a Disney Princess for a day. Soon, Belle (Averie), Jasmine (Caris), and I were doing our beauty queen wave as we walked back to our cars.

Yeah, that's right, we're the Dream Ears Girls. You just wish you were us.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

What I Learned On My Oregon Vacation

I'm home. I haven't quite stepped on the "Weekend-Ends-Here" pedal. I thought I would sleep peacefully in my own comfy bed, but instead, snippets of weekend happenings infiltrated my dreams. I would wake up, giggle, poke a snoozing Charlie and say; "Oh yeah Honey, I forgot to tell you about when A and C went out on Proposal Rock and....." And he would calmly turn over to oblige me and listen..smiling. Such a good guy. After about the eighth "Oh yeah Honey..," he turned over and said; "...one time, at Band Camp..." That's when I thought I'd better save some for tomorrow and drifted off to sleep.

The landscape of my world has changed tenfold; even greater than 3-D could ever encompass. I have added to my family more love than I ever thought possible. All because Auburn Pisces had a birthday, and I invited myself. In the scope of this life lesson, this is what I learned.

1. The Transporation Security Administration (TSA). You know why their people are looking a little chunky? Because they take away the little jars of Guava Jelly and bottles of Coconut/Macadamia Syrup that you bring for your friends and they're having parties. Apparently, I represent what appears to them to be the Polynesian cell of terrorism. "Back off bitches or I'm gonna throw my Guava Jelly bomb at you." It wasn't a good start. I'm still bitter. Ask anybody.

2. Some people live in the forest. You can stand on their back porch and see wildlife. If you stand on my back porch you can see Cal-Trans painting over graffiti. Okay, it's not as bad as that, but there aren't any deer watching me drink my coffee in the morning.

3. A muddler is NOT a sex toy. No Pua, it's not. Even though Pony knows that I want the 12" exotic Honduran wood model. It's for limes. Really, it's for limes.

4. Aub has it all worked out. One should ALWAYS take their bartenders on weekend vacations with them. I don't remember my glass EVER being empty because A and J were SO attentive. What great little muddlers they are! Muddlers are NOT sex toys. Just sayin.

5. Pony needs a steppy stool for his MASSIVE....truck. Specifically for drunk Hawaiian women with short legs. I only remember taking one look at the back seat and saying to My Knight in Shining Armour that there was no way in hell I was gonna be able to hoist my ass into that truck. He calmly reassured me that that was his job this night and he promised I would get up there without breaking my neck. He kept his promise, but Pony still needs a steppy stool for me. It's a long way up.

6. Turkey Platters make perfect ashtrays. Just add sand.

7. Aub sleeps "blissfully".

8. Together, Pony, Hot Toddy, and Pua sing "What is This Feeling?" perfectly. Everyone was jealous, they just don't know how to admit it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

9. Hot Toddy & Patty Griffin make my eyes leak.

10. Febreeze is the single most wonderful invention on the face of the Earth. 'Nuff said.

11. Body Piercers in Portland are chatty.

12. C. C. Slaughter's makes your clothes fall off.

I have lei'd 6 sexy men and a beautiful red-headed woman. On a spectacular day on a drive to the coast, I have spoken of castles and kings and everything in between with someone who has wrapped my heart in a blanket, two coats, a duffle bag, 2 cd cases, some laundry...."and all that riggamarole". Toddy, I love you more than I thought possible. You make it easy.

I saw a family who epitomized the word "care". Pony, thank you for being such a good "Daddy", friend, safety net. Let some of that spill over on you. When I listen to our CD, I will smile and cherish every memory. Especially of flying lighters hitting glass doors.

Aub, thank you is not enough for sharing the abundance of your world with me. I feel blessed. On all sides and angles. Oh, and one more thing; King, Queen-Ace, Jack-Two, Ten-Three......

I love you. All of you. With a completely boundless love.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Happy Birthday My Friend

I can only say that I was 44 when I met youfor the first time face to face. So that just means everything gets better. Right? I'm so happy to call you my friend.

Love you. Have a fabulous day. Don't start the party without me.