Ok, so I have an illness. I need help. But YOU just have to deal...
Another debriefing night with "the guys." I used to complain about being the only female in the tribe. But after having met some of the choices that Charlie's friends make in the way of women, I must say that I rather like it that they've decided that confirmed bachelorhood is the way to go...for now. I've spent 20 some years in the company of the aforementioned bachelors. It's always been that way, me and the guys, with a few blips in between where one or the other of them had women. I now find that I have no complaints. It's good to be "the girl."
After all these years of fielding questions from them about women in general; what we think about men, dating, love, relationships, family, raising kids, sex, etc. (mind you, I DO NOT give out unsolicited advice, but if they ask me, they're gonna get my answer! That's just the way I work.), I believe they know exactly how I feel. So it brings me a great sense of comfort to know that they still seek our company, at least one night a week.
The sociology lesson doesn't begin and end at our table. We watch the scenery around the pub. The "meat market", the leachers at the bar, the "OC" Barbie Girls of Babylon. It's a veritable schmorgasbord of anthropological delights. There is much to talk about. And all the while, in our 40 something way, we think, "oh my God, I'm so glad to not have to be there again."
Well, at least Charlie and I think that. The guys are still the guys. And I guess, in a sense, when I'm with them. I'm one of the guys too. Except I don't wanna go to a strip club.
One of the great joys of my life, on my debriefing nights at least, is to play NTN Trivia at the pub. You see, as I've mentioned, I'm an XX rose amongst the XY thorns. No matter how they say they aren't competitive...they are. Now, remember, I'm a middle-aged, unemployed, non-degreed (but fucking intelligent and sexy as hell) woman sitting at a table with three middle-aged, highly professional, ultra educated men. And we're playing NTN Trivia along with however many people in the pub are playing as well. If the topic is sports, other than hockey, I pretty much suck. There's no getting around that. But bring on the "Potpourri", or "General Knowledge" and don't EVEN think you're going to leave me in dust if the topic is "Entertainment" of ANY form. I will be a female mantis and you will lose your head without the benefit of mating.
As it turns out, the topic to begin with is Astronomy. Ok, so Charlie is the friggin Galileo of the table, and my point values remain at a sedentary ZERO. And yeah, Ron knows a lot about Geography. Gordon is the king of computers. And Bob, whoever the hell he is somewhere in the pub, is kicking our digital asses. The guys are done with dinner and they are ready to leave without having smoked their usual Cohibas. What the hell???? No dammit, we are not going ANYWHERE until I get on the damn scoreboard. Light up boys! The High Priestess is determined to play this damn game. So now the topic of music comes up...woohooo! Now we're talking.
Time passes, Broadway comes up, then Retro Trivia (my specialty), then Metal, then TV, I am SO kicking ass. Question 15, the last question, I'm down by 325 points. I need this. Bad. I want this. Here we go; "In the Danny DeVito movie "Drowning Mona," the plot revolves around a family whose every member drives what kind of vehicle?" BAM! My nimble fingers enter the answer before these guys are even able to get through the word "Danny." Ron rolls his eyes, Gordon says "oh brother," Charlie looks at me blankly. I smugly smile. Now my only foe is Bob, somewhere in the bar. Here comes the answer...wait for it...wait for it... YES! YES! Victory is Mine! THE WINNER IS.....PUA! The crowd goes wild. Ok, I go wild. Bite me.
After making them wait. After my name is flashed on the screen for all the world (at least this little world) to see. And not only that, my score was the high score of the day, beating out the high scorer at "Champps" in Houston. I have my victory. Me, little middle-aged, unemployed, non-degreed (but fucking intelligent and sexy as hell) Me. So there. We can go now. Bow as you exit my presence.