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Friday, June 01, 2012

Red Light District

The Grommet's car has been out of commission for a couple of weeks and he hasn't quite saved up enough to do the repairs. Luckily, his work is not far from home, so he can walk there. Some nights, he works the closing shift and so it can be late when he gets off work. On those days, Charlie and I have offered to pick him up after work. Last night was my turn to play taxi. I haven't done this in quite a long time, so the novelty factor is still present. We haven't hit the "Crap, this is inconvenient!" stage yet.

Anyway, last night as I was on my way to pick him up, I noticed a girl jogging on the side of the road. I always find it a bit disturbing to see young women jogging at night. That's just the mom in me. But I digress. The REASON that I noticed this young woman, and mind you, it took a while for her to catch my eye, is because all I saw, quite literally, were a pair of voluptuous breasts bouncing in mid-air. You see, this well-endowed female was wearing all black. Black sportsbra, black leggings, black hair tied back. Her pale skin, especially in the area of her chest, was like a beacon in the night. I suppose it would be cheesy to say "headlights", but hey, I call 'em as I see 'em. Because of her ample cleavage, her poor top was struggling to keep those "girls" inside. I worried that she might knock herself out if those babies came loose. Yes, I did slow down. I wasn't quite sure if I was seeing things correctly. I had JUST picked up my new glasses at the optomotrist's office only a few hours earlier and they DID tell me that it would take some adjustment time for my eyes to get used to them. So, when you see what appears to be "floaters", you tend to worry a bit. Okay, okay, maybe those aren't the kind of floaters my doctor was talking about, but c'mon. As I continue on, passing the jogger(s), I glance in my rearview mirror, and I see nothing but the reflective glow on the back of her trainers moving away into the dark night. Then my responsible, mom-like mind returns to that worry place of "Wow, I wish she wouldn't run through that park at night."

Two minutes later, The Grommet is hopping into the passenger seat and I'm asking him all those things you ask your kid after his day. In turn, he is responding exactly as your kid would respond at the end of his day; monosyllabically. I'm having an episode of deja vu. It's 2007, and I've just picked him up from school during his pre-car days. He's seems to be falling to sleep as we sit at a red light, and so I tell him about the jogger, and I ask him if he's hungry because I kept some dinner warm for him. He sits up and I think that the thought of food has peaked his interest:

Grommet: "Damn, this light is long! Change, already!"

Pua: "Wow, you must be really anxious to get home to that dinner."

Grommet: "No. If this light stays red much longer, I'll miss the Booby Show."

And just like that, my son looked like a very happy dog on a car ride. No further description necessary.


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