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Thursday, December 04, 2003

The High Priestess is....down (the crowd says "awwwwww")

I couldn't quite put my finger on it last night. But this morning, I had a revelation. Probably from listening to Averie talk about her Psych class and her much agonized over Psych paper on Depression. I'm depressed. Damnit.

It's the lack of "busy-ness". Now, before you go off on me, I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm merely stating what I've come to realize in the inventory I've taken this morning. What with me STILL being unemployed, (not for lack of trying mind you; according to my Monster.com account, I've put out 53 resumes and been on 22 interviews) and Christmas being a breath away, it can be a little overwhelming. Especially when I know that Charlie is working like a madman lately. Guilt sucks (See Number 20).

Last month, Averie and I were running back and forth to Beautiful Downtown Burbank for Ellen. That took up a lion's share of time. In between tapings, Charlie and I were carting Caris back and forth to LA for her workshops and background management listings. And in the more minute spaces still, Bryson had homework and boat cleanings to accomplish, so there were marina runs to get to lest his clients get upset at him for slacking. Thank God he's taking a hockey season off, or I'd need to clone myself!

I guess the point is, that now that the Ellen stuff with Averie is over, and things have settled back into the "quietness of the usual", it's a bit of a let down. There is still Caris' career to attend to, but for the most part, that is a waiting game and is in the hands of her management. My only purpose in that sense, is to merely make sure her work permit and Coogan account is in order and get her to set should she be called. Other than that, it's back to "normal", whatever normal is. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for the "normal" of my life. It's just the adjustment back to it is a little daunting. I had to come to the realization of what my discomfort was. Now that I've found it, I can move on. It comes down to identifying the demon. That being done, I should get to the business at hand. I regain my strength in just knowing that I shall be victorious at facing whatever evil comes my way. There are other demons that must be conquered. Laundry, for one. Evil, evil laundry.

How depressing.


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