So, I'm surfing, surfing, surfing, and BAM! I fall headlong into the intellectual nirvana of my life. I'm constantly feeling the sense that, as my friend SG would say, there's been a fuck-up at the cosmic Fed-Ex and I've been dropped off on the wrong planet (or time continuum). It's been overheard by others who share my breathing space that I think I have a target on the top of my head (so as to give the Super Powers a clearer shot at me) and I'm just the bullseye of some ethereal entertainment. A puppet, if you will. If there REALLY is a God, that is to say. So, on that plane, please digest the following:

DAZE OF WHINE & NEUROSES

Bad luck hounding you like the plague? Forget bad feng shui and astrology. There's a better expanation to all the crap you've been getting. Check these out.

MURPHY'S LAW.
If something can go wrong, it sure will.

THE THIRD MONEY MAXIM.
Just when you think you're about to make both ends meet, you realise someone's moved the ends.

FIRST EXTENSION TO MURPHY'S LAW.
If a series of things fail, they will do so in the worst possible order.

THE TUNNEL THEORY.
Just when you think you can see light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in.

THE LAW OF DAMAGE.
If it's fragile, you'll drop it; if it's robust you'll fall on it and hurt yourself.

HORNER'S FIVE THUMB HYPOTHESIS.
Experience increases in direct proportion to equipment ruined. (I actually like to call this one the TIM TAYLOR HYPOTHESIS).

And THAT, fellow Blogizens of the Blogdom, is THAT.