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Saturday, July 12, 2003

"Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Avast me hearties, Yo Ho!"

I don't care what any of you say or think about me; I love him. And I'm entitled to my lust. I've earned it. Just as Averie is entitled to be the HP know-it-all of the universe, Bobby; the authority on spandex and cape encrusted super-heroes, Mary; the afficionado of sprites, forest dwellers and other such enchanted beings, I allow myself to be completely and utterly enraptured in Depp-dom.

Yes, I know, it's a completely Disneyish, romanticized view of what in reality was a horrid lifestyle. I'm not quite sure I could ever get THAT close to teeth that look like that and I imagine that pirates would probably smell like dead cod left in a fermenting pit for weeks on end (perhaps worse). But God, he's a swaggeringly beautiful offering to the female consumer. Make no doubt about it, Disney, despite what could be considered an attempt at cheap laughs and hokey exploitation, has hit paydirt. A windfall of delightfully cheesy adolescent familiarity, and guess what? We, the public, do not mind in the least! If the "X" on my treasure map leads me to Capt. Jack Sparrow (ok ok so I had something else on my mind..bite me), then I say, "Aye Aye!"

And to the critics who get paid to write drivel....this unemployed mom did a better job than you did and she's on her way to see it again. In a ghostly heartbeat. So there.


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