And Now, For Your Listening Enjoyment...

It all started a few weeks ago at my sister's house. My phone rang when one of the kids called. Everyone knows it's MY phone ringing because my ringtone is Jimmy Buffett singing "Margaritaville." Instead of saying "Pua (or Mommy), your phone's ringing!", someone will yell; "Jimmy's singing!" So after I finished my call, my sister made a comment that she had been trying to get Mason Williams' "Classical Gas" as her ringtone for quite sometime, but both she and her hubby Phil were having a hard time getting the ringtone to sync with her phone. Instead, she had settled for "Bad Things" from "True Blood" since she's a diehard fan. So began the challenge. All four of us spent the better part of a Saturday afternoon fiddling around with our phones trying to get Mason Williams to download.

Soon, because Phil seemed to have things in control, I started thinking that I should download different rings for different people. Now, I know Averie had done this long ago. She had a ring for when Ryan called her, and she had "Margaritaville" for when I called her. I thought it was cute, but unnecessary. Suddenly now, it seemed like a fun thing to do. So, I started matching family members with songs that would help me identify them when they called. Little did I know then how entirely entertaining this would be for me, not just that day, but for many days to come.

I started with the immediate family:

Charlie wanted to download the RED PHONE ring from the old James Coburn movie In Like Flint. I liked it, and he was very happy having it for HIS phone. But it wasn't quite what I was looking for. Then, he smiled and suggested "Master of the House" from Les Miserables. It's always been his favorite play. We've seen it three times and it's one play I never have to beg him to see again. Charlie has, over the years, joked that if he EVER thought HE was Monsieur Thenardier, then MY Madame Thenardier would quickly put him in his place. With love, and tongue-in-cheek, of course. And so, it was decided that the chorus from Master of the House (start at 0.38) would be it for Charlie.

For Averie, I downloaded the theme from "The Office." She has WAY too many favs, but for now, this worked. Also, it's the ringtone I hear from her phone whenever she's here, so I think of Ave when I hear it. I like to imagine that the next ringtone I have for Averie will be of a show that she's a writer for. Oh you just wait.

For Caris, I chose "Popular" from Wicked. Among her many roles in theater, she played Glinda. Though my favorite role she ever played was Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors, "Somewhere That's Green," didn't make a particularly good ringtone. The chorus of "Popular," however, was perfect and reminded me instantly of Caris (start at 1.08). Toddy, remember when we sang "What is This Feeling?" at the beachhouse? So much fun. Ooops...offtrack.

I had to include my "other husband," Wes. Other than Charlie, no other man calls me more. Of course, we're running a business together, so it's understandable that besides my family, Wes rings me up more than anyone else I know. For him, what else but The Ventures? I always know when it's The Big Kahuna calling.

Last but not least, Bryson. I thought and thought about this. There isn't ONE song in particular that makes me think of The Grommet. He's constantly playing his guitar or ukulele, and he doesn't really stick to one genre of music. Right now, he's on a Billy Holiday, Temptations, Sam Cooke, Etta James kick. Last month it was Marley, or Oasis. I dunno, it changes with the wind. Then, someone jokingly said, "Have the phone yell HEY MOM! when he calls." That was it! Perfect. Happily, I downloaded what would turn out to be the quintessential Mother/Son ringtone. It has not failed to make me smile yet. Oh yes, I'm making you wait for it. Continue please, we're almost there.

Over the last couple of weeks, when Charlie has called and Monsieur Thenardier starts singing, I start to giggle before I answer the phone. By the time I get to answering, I'm in a full-blown gigglefest. Every. Single. Time. Because I answer the phone laughing, Charlie starts laughing too and starts singing the song. Wes thinks we're both off our center. He's right. We are. But it's so much fun there.

A few days ago, I was in the grocery store when Bryson called. Yes, I know that you haven't heard his ringer yet. But the guy in the cereal aisle next to me has. Let me tell you, when he heard it, he first got a look of panic on his face. Then it was a "What the hell?" kind of expression as he looked around to see where it was coming from. Then his gaze locked upon me as I pulled my phone out of my purse. Before I answered, I held the phone up, smiled and said to the poor man.."My son."
At first he was shocked, then he started laughing. Really loud. Then he walked away shaking his head and muttering "Classic!" With one more glance over his shoulder at me, he and his cart turned the corner, laughing all the way. NO, I'm not a fan of the show, but I have to say that no other ring has created the stir that this one has and no one finds it funnier than The Grommet himself. Who, I might add, is calling me more often than ever just to ask me where I am and who heard. So now, I present, Bryson's ring (without the "Lois" part):



Tell me you didn't crack up.