Be Still

I feel like a fool for a suggestion I made to someone. Turns out, my suggestion wasn't such a good one and it embarrasses me that I wasn't more informed. Seriously embarrasses me.

Two family members have been diagnosed with cancer this week. One is terminal. One, well we still don't know.

My embarrassment is surviveable and I'll live. My friend will forgive me for being naively ignorant because at least now I'll know stuff and I'll make wise choices in the future.

I wish the prognosis were the same for my loved ones. But we can't be naive, and we can't bury our heads in the sand. I wish it was as easy as surviving embarrassment.

Today I feel lost. Tomorrow and the following days, I need to be strong for them. I want to say the right things and do the right things. I've been through this before, more times than I think is fair. It's all too uncomfortably familiar and that just pisses me off. Sometimes there is no right thing to say or right thing to do. For now, I tell myself to just be still.