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Friday, April 01, 2005

No Hockey? Hah! April Fools!

Grueling. That's what it is; grueling. God, PLEASE let me win the lottery. Not a lot, I ask you, just enough to let me go back to being the at-home-mom I'm meant to be. This working somewhere else, and THEN coming home to do my "regular" Mom/Wife work is killing me. That being said...

I came home from work yesterday just long enough to check on the puppy, let her have a little outside time, check my phone messages, and start dinner. Then I had to run and take Mum to chemo. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to be that easy. Because WHAT in my life is? It just wouldn't be the Pua Channel without some form of chaos. I press the flashing button on my answer machine to hear:

"Hi, this is Anthony, the hockey director at the Boys and Girls Club. Bryson, you need to call your team and tell them that they have a game tonight at the club. 5:30."

I step back and stare at the machine like it just sent my world off-axis. Well, yeah, it just did. What the frack? Bryson's team? HUH? I pick up the phone and call the club to speak with Anthony:

Anthony: Hello? This is Anthony.

Me: Anthony, this is Bryson's mom. I'm calling about the message you left for Bry about his team having a game tonight.

Anthony: Yeah?

Me: Well, I'm a little confused. What team? What game? Bryson isn't even playing hockey this season. (What I'm saying here is; "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?")

Anthony: Oh, I know he's not playing. He's coaching. (What he's saying here is; "Your son is coaching one of my Squirt hockey teams.")

Me: WHAT?????? When did this happen? (What I'm saying here is "Please tell me you're joking.")

Anthony: I called him on Monday and told him he had a roster. (What he's saying here is; "It's a done deal.")

Me: You did? (What I'm saying here is; "OHHHH, I'm SO gonna kill that kid.")

Anthony: Yeah. He said "cool". (What he's saying here is; "Oh he's definitely coaching, alright.")

Me: Crap. So Anthony..is there a backup coach for this team? I mean, since this is the first time I'm hearing about it...I mean, jeez, he hasn't even met his team and they're already having a game? What grade are we talking about here? Oh God, I don't believe this. I'm not sure he can do this.

Anthony: Ok. No, there's no backup coach. Bryson's it. The kids don't often meet their coaches until the first game, you know how that works, you've been through this for years, and he can pick up the roster now and start calling them and I have his jerseys too. This is a 4th grade team; all first-timers. And I KNOW he can do this because he's been playing here since he was 4. The club director wanted Bryson to ref, but we both thought he'd be an awesome coach for the Squirt level team. We offered both up for him. The ref position is a paid position; $15.00 a game. The coaching position is community service/volunteer hours only, no pay. Bryson chose coaching.

Me: (A brief moment of silence to soak it all in because this is going to wreck havoc in my already topsy-turvy world. Basically, I'M going to be the one getting him back and forth to the club for games, practices. God, here we go again.) *sigh* He's a good kid, isn't he? (What I'm saying here is; "He's a good kid, isn't he?")

Anthony: He's an awesome kid. That's why I really want him to coach these little guys.

Me: We'll see you at 5:30 Anthony.

Anthony: I knew I would!

Lord, if you let me win the lottery, I'm gonna clone myself. Cuz that's the ONLY way I'll be able to fit all this stuff in. *sigh*


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