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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

At A Loss For...okay, not really

I'm honored to join the throng of people who want to honor Pua and express love for her during a difficult time.

I have to be honest. When someone is grieving, I always say there are no words that can truly comfort. But that's not really true. There may be no words that can completely obliterate the pain we're feeling, but surely we are capable of comforting one another with words.

Personally, I just think the name Pua is comforting in and of itself. Did you ever notice you can't say her name without forming your lips in a kiss? Then you exhale a gentle breath as you kiss the air. That's how you say Pua's name. How fitting.

The first time I ever called Pua, I was sitting at a bar in NYC with my wonderful blogger friends. She laughed as we sang out a greeting. I held the phone tightly and pressed it hard against my ear so that I could devour her laugh. I passed the phone to others so they could hear her infectious laughter. We warmed ourselves in that laugh like shivering orphans standing in front of a bonfire. None of us were capable of producing that much warmth by ourselves. We basked in her love together, even though she was thousands of miles away.

As I rode in the car with Auburn Pisces on the way back from her brother's funeral, we received a call from Pua. I couldn't hear what Pua said, but I could see the expression on AP's face. At that moment, she felt deeply loved. She felt comforted by Pua's words. It was wonderful.

Sometimes, after Pua sends me an e-mail, gives me a call, or leaves an encouraging or funny comment at Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven, I wonder what I did to deserve this love?

I guess Pua just gives this love away for free. Just like the warm scarves she sends all over the country. You don't have to earn these gifts. Pua just likes to share.

I want to love people the way Pua does, but I don't think I can. The best I can do is imitate her generous heart and hope that I can come close. Pua, my wish for you and your family during this tough time is that you will feel even a tiny portion of the love that you regularly share with others.

I would like to close this tender post with a little Hawaiian saying, but the only one I know is "Iwanna Mai Tai"

Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven


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