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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Speaking of Cookies

Speaking of Cookies

I don't usually blog on the weekend, but I'm just feeling unusually calm and happy today and needed to write it. You guys have been putting up with so much of my whining and puppy-induced whimpering lately, I thought you deserved some relief.

Last night, Charlie and I attended Averie's play "Who Am I This Time?" a vignette from "Valentines from Vonnegut", which is being presented by theOCC Repertory Theater. You know, I've watched her perform throughout her high school career, but I have to say, now that she's in college, she's just blossoming. I sat in the intimate theater and just marveled at her. I watched, transfixed, as she brought her character to life before my eyes. I've swelled with pride before, but this was something much different. This was awe. I wondered quietly why she ever doubts herself or her abilities. She was less my daughter, and more this beautiful and talented young actor who was painting a live portrait before me. A portrait of someone else's life. I found myself watching people in the audience, studying their expressions as they too, watched her as she worked. I saw awe in those faces as well and knew I wasn't alone. When the performers came out for their bows, it was then that I felt that familiar sense of maternal pride. I first listened for their responses as Averie came to centerstage, before I offered mine. They loved her as much as I did. I squeezed Charlie's hand and when I looked over at him, he had tears in his eyes. I'm just amazed that we are so lucky to be a part of the magic as life unfolds before her.

In between all the emotions with Shanny's illness, I've still been diligently trying to find part-time employment in order to help Charlie with our rising financial setback. I had an interview on Monday for an Administrative Assistant job with a legal and financial planning firm, but didn't think I had much of a chance when the lawyer that interviewed me told me that he had over 80 applicants for the position. I got a call for a second interview and skills testing on Wednesday. After I met another of the law partners, the original lawyer asked if I had any questions. I smiled and asked if I should get my hopes up. He laughed and said that in all honesty, it was between me and another candidate and he was leaning toward me. I tried not to get too excited. The fact is that I've been looking for a job for over a year and a half now. I've been on over 50 interviews and with each rejection, I lose a little piece of my soul. My damaged self esteem just took beating after beating. It's hard not to take that personally. Last night, before we left for Averie's play, I received a formal offer for the job. Of course I accepted. It's exactly what I was looking for; Monday to Friday, 9:00-1:00. With these hours, I can still get the kids to school in the mornings, and be available to pick them up and attend any after school sports or activities. Housework might never get done, but when does it anyway? Best of all, I can help pay for Shanny's medical expenses AND help Charlie. There will be just a tad bit less stress. I'm proud of myself for hanging in there. Yep, I said it, I'm proud of myself. Yay Me!

This morning, I got up and baked 6 dozen cookies for the staff and all the doctors at the animal hospital. I wanted them to know how much I appreciated all that they're doing to try to restore our little girl's health. Someone is always with her; night and day. I took the cookies over, but in my heart I knew I was just using it as an excuse to visit Shanny. Then again, I also knew I didn't need an excuse. They've all been extremely accommodating to us. Averie has gone over on her own and visited her. We debated as to whether it was more upsetting for her to see us, or if we should just stay away and allow her to rest. They assured us they believed it was good for her to see us. It keeps her spirits up. When we're there, she perks up, wags her tail, and even sits up from her lying position and whimpers with recognition. Today is the first day her temperature has been "down" to a less scary 102 from 104.6 (reg temp for dogs is 101). There's been no vomiting and no diarrhea; a very good sign that the pancreas is calming down. The swelling in her belly from the building fluids has subsided. We're halfway there, the Gods and Goddesses bless her. Fingers crossed, she might be out of the woods and home with us by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Again, my heartful of gratitude to everyone. I haven't had much of a chance to get around to visit everyone's blogs in the past hectic and emotional week, but I promise I'll get there to thank you all personally and answer your emails. Please know that I love you all more than I can say. Your love has held me up through a really hard time.

A very special thank you to my genius adopted son Matt. He's been working his magic on the new "Warm Cookies" page for me, spending more hours than I can even comprehend because he's just that talented and adorable. I had always secretly hoped, back when he and Ave were in high school, that he was going to be my son-in-law one day (Oohhh, I'm gonna catch such hell for that!). But, I'm perfectly happy just knowing he'll always be a part of our family. If I never told you before, we couldn't be prouder of you Matt....and the next time you come home to CM for a visit, make sure that Averie's not the only one who gets to see you...understand?

I think I might see some sun peaking through the clouds.


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