Sick Puppy

It's been a long week. I haven't had much of a heart to do much more than hope and pray that our little girl is gonna be ok. In and out of the hospital without many answers. It seems that whatever is making her ill is evasive, and her symptoms are not completely symptomatic of textbook cases. Still, after she got out of the hosptial on Sunday morning after two days, and was only better for a few hours, I returned what amounted to a furry, black paperweight to the hospital Wednesday morning. Yet another blood panel FINALLY showed positive for what the doctor orginally thought was pancreatitis. He suspected it last week, but every test they did came up negative. NOW, a week and many dollars later, it's showing up. Talk of cancer and liver problems have now ceased. We are fighting a rogue pancreas that wants to take over. We need to quiet it down.

She's been through the ringer, this poor creature that we love. A little trooper; she just lets them do whatever they need to do, all the while looking at me with eyes that say that she loves me and wants me to not give up hope. Please don't give up hope. I've asked repeatedly if she's in pain, if all of this is the right thing to do. They assure me that she isn't in pain, she simply doesn't feel well and has no energy to fight, and so we need to fight for her. They promise me that at this time, fighting is the right thing to do. It's too early to put her down. They've even taken hundreds of dollars off of her bill because they believe they can see her through this. No one wants to give up on her. The doctors tell me that they must literally "shut down" her pancreas. She can't have ANY food for 5-7 days and she will get her nutrients, medications, and blood sugar through IV.

The staff at the hospital have been awesome. They've let me come and sit with her, and put her in a bottom cage where I can lean in and stroke her tiny head. She musters a small wag and loves me with her eyes. I can see her in those eyes...she's in there, my little girl. Her spirit is fighting. Everyone is fighting with her. They're loving her through it. When I went in last night, one of the girls on the night staff was literally lying in her cage with her, talking softly to her, telling her she was going to be "all better" soon. When it's time to go, my heart breaks again, but I can see in that sweet puppy girl's eyes that she knows we're doing everything we can. And I know without question that she's loving us for it.

Thank you everyone. Thank you for your emails, notes, and cards. Thank you for loving me and Shanny across the miles. Thank you for your care, concern, and complete understanding of how difficult this is. And thank you most of all for knowing how terribly much we love her.