Sure You'll Call

On the night we met, after being set up by mutual friends at a Super Bowl Party, Charlie, being the sweetie he is, offered to walk me out to my car. We had talked for HOURS, and though I would have like to stay and talk all night (even though he was kinda drunk..still he was so cute), it was getting late and I had to work the next morning. As we stood near the car and talked a little more, he got up the courage to ask me if he could give me a goodnight kiss. I looked down at my shoes and said.."sure." He kissed me sweetly on the cheek and then asked if he could give me a call the following day.

Now, here's the thing. I was the quiet girl in my circle of friends. I tried my best to be inconspicuous. I thought I was fat and ugly, so I tried not to be noticed. My friend M was the extroverted, outgoing, flashy, attention getter. The guys all loved her. She was (IS) vivacious, beautiful, and gregarious. Char was the perfect California blonde surfer girl. Terri was petite, cute, and bubbly. Cindy had a car, a house with permissive parents (booze and weed), no curfew, you get the picture. Me? I was the nobody. Usually, when guys asked for my phone number, it was so they could call me to get one of my friends numbers. If a guy was nice to me, it was because he was trying to get closer to one of my friends. It happened more times than I can count.

So when Charlie asked for my number. I was suspicious. Suddenly all those high school memories of being "a means to an end" came back to haunt me. I looked at him with trepidation and then responded with; "I'll give it to you if what you really want is to talk to ME, not one of my friends...AND if you promise to call." How desperate is that? I'm embarrassed at my pathetic-ness. He said; "Listen, I don't give a crap about your friends. I WANT to talk to YOU. Can I please have your number?" Of course, I gave it to him, but inside I was thinking; "Sure you'll call." When I got home, my phone was ringing. It was Charlie. He didn't even wait until the next day, and he called the following three days, until we could finally get together for our first date. He changed my life. He helped me to trust again because he kept his word.

All these years later, I still get suspicious when people say they'll do something. Because for the most part, they don't. They don't call when they say they will. They won't be where they say they will be. It's aggravating. And to this day, it still makes me feel like the fat, ugly friend that was just a means to an end. I suppose I should be mature, shake it off, and move along. But it hurts. It still hurts.

I'm not funny. I'm not talented. I'm not beautiful. I'm not particularly witty. I'm just someone who has feelings. And I always treat people the way I want to be treated. I wish sometimes people would remember that.

Thank God I have Charlie.