Please take a number...

Yesterday I was in the grocery store. Or maybe it was the day before. God, I don't know. Days all seem to run together now that I'm unemployed. I keep having to ask the kids "what day is it?" Pathetic. Anyway, I went over to the deli because I wanted to get some roast beef, smoked turkey breast, and some swiss cheese for school lunches (seems nobody in my house thinks Oscar Mayer has a way with B O L O G N A). As I approached the deli section with my handy dandy shopping cart, I noticed that there were quite a lot of people waiting. Which is out of the ordinary for this time of day, so early in the week. Now, I know that part of the reason for the crowd is that we're in the midst of a grocery strike here in California, and since I'm not one to cross a picket line no matter which side of an issue I'm on, I only go to the ONE store in our city where the workers are not on strike. It's not my first choice, I would much rather go to Vons, or Albertson's. But I'm not willing to put myself in the line of fire. I have watched some of those picketers bring women and children to tears with their tactics over the last three months. So whether I agree with their issues or not, I'm not gonna make myself a target for their anger and frustration for some deli meats..ya know?

Now, back to the roast beef...I notice that there are about 4 people waiting to be helped, along with the two that are already being helped by the two deli employees. There's one of those "take a number" thingies on the counter, but I don't see that there's a lighted sign anywhere to tell what number they are on. I also notice that no one standing and waiting seems to be holding a little number ticket. So, I take note of the people around me so that I'll know what order I should be helped, BUT, I still go to the trouble to take a ticket....just in case. I'm a "just in case scenario" kind of woman. Turns out, I have taken ticket #1. Just as I suspected, they aren't using the number tickets. Oh well. I just wait my turn.

In the meantime, there are people coming AFTER me, and I can tell that they are going through the same mental inventory that I just did; "should I take a ticket? should I NOT take a ticket? how long have all of these people been standing here?" etc. etc. Now, here's the deal. Everyone seems to be patiently waiting. There's an older gentleman standing next to me who arrived just after I did, and he smiles and nods and makes a comment about how busy it is today. I politely return his smile and respond in the affirmative. Some people seem restless and shift their weight a lot, or they sigh heavily, as if that will make the deli employees go faster. Me, I'm just enjoying the people watching. Something Charlie says that I have down to a joyful science. It's easy in Southern California. The people here would blow your minds. But I digress...

It's about to be my turn. I've waited patiently for 20 minutes. It's no big deal, I'm not in any hurry. I still have an hour to pick Bry and Caris up at school, and even if I don't get out of there in time, Averie can always go and pick them up in her car. No worries. Now, here's the fun part; one of the deli people behind the counter says, "who's next, please?" And out of nowhere, this little old lady with a jet propelled shopping cart ZOOMS in front of me and the nice elderly gentleman who was behind me. "I'm next!" She says as she steps up to the front of the counter.

Now, I've always been taught to be respectful to my elders, and I teach my children the same. BUT, come on. Where was this lady when there were a total of 6 people in front of me, and 3 people behind me, including my gentleman friend? She rammed her cart through the crowd and parted the waiting crowd like Moses parted the Red Sea, never once excusing herself. Dumbfounded, I stood there in amazement at her lack of courtesy. Does our society dictate that once you've reached a certain age you have the right to be rude? God help us if that's so because I'm going to be one awful old bitch to be around come that day.

Just as I was resigned to the fact that she was going to get away with it, the nice gentleman next to me says, "Excuse me, Madam. But I do believe THIS nice lady (pointing to me) was next in line."

The little old lady turned around in disgust and replied. "I beg your pardon, but I (she said the word "I" with quite a lot of emphasis) happen to have ticket #2 (waving the ticket at us indignantly). What number do YOU have?"

Now, my thinking is that she probably saw that nobody was taking tickets and saw that there was a number two. Knowing that the place was pretty crowded, I think she figured that the person who took number one had probably been helped quite a long time ago and was gone by then, so she took her chances. In essence, she was prepared to cheat, and really thought she was gonna get away with it.

"Well" said my gentleman friend, "I DON'T have a number, and I don't think anyone else does either, because the number machine isn't working today."

"THAT'S not MY fault. I have number two and I'm next."

Ya know, there was NO damn way I was gonna let this septuagenarian beeyotch talk to this nice old man like that. No damn way. Before I knew it, my mouth opened and I stepped forward...

"Um, excuse me Ma'am, but I have ticket #1" (I emphasized the word "I" just like she had).

I thought Granny was gonna throw a rod right there in the store.

"Well FINE...get up here then. I haven't got all day!"

I smiled, and stepped forward and handed the deli lady my ticket. And then, I looked over my shoulder at my elderly knight in shining armor and I said..."Come on, Dad, it's OUR turn"

I haven't seen a smile like that since...well, in a long time. First he had a look of confusion on his face, like I'd lost my mind. Then, when he looked over and when he saw how angry Granny got, he just beamed! It was awesome. He stepped up to the counter with me, ordered his 1/4 pound of lean turkey breast, sliced extra thin, and a little container of cole slaw. Then, he squeezed my shoulder, gave me a little wink, and said, "Thank you Honey, that was the most fun I've had since the last blue moon!"

I smiled and wished him a happy day, and then I went back to my own deli order, while Grumpy Granny watched. And I took my own, sweet time.