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Tuesday, November 11, 2003

The Presence of Stupidity; Part 2

With regard to Lesley and Arie, if I were Averie, I would:

1. Respond to the question "What's more important?" with "And you think that this job even PLACES on my "What's Important" list? Then hold your stomach, double over, and laugh hysterically.

2. Respond to Arie's comments about "She doesn't LOOK sick to me. Why did she call in sick?" with "Uh, Hello? It's not a LIVE show." Then roll your eyes, flip your hair back Valley Girl style, sigh heavily and say; "Amateur" and sneeze on her before you walk away.

3. Respond to Lesley's comments that she's "hiring again" and her veiled threats of firing with, "Ya know, that might just be a good idea because I know people are breaking down the door to work until 2 am the night before an early morning class. And this job is just so edifying to the soul that I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting to work in such a great, positive environment where the supervisors do EVERYTHING in their power to make you feel like part of the team. Hire Away!" Then skip happily away while whistling and twirling your braids around your finger.

4. Make sure the Ellen producers KNOW that your employer has let you know that your job is on the line because of your participation in the show. You know how they love little interesting bits of information to "feed" to Ellen about the contestants. This one's a doozy! That way, Ellen will more than likely ask you about it on the air. After all, everyone LOVES a good plug on national television about how they've "HELPED" someone move forward with their best and most IMPORTANT opportunities, don't they? ::evil grin::

God I'm good.


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