The High Priestess embraces life...
We went to "debriefing" with Ron last night. It's always nice after a long day to just sit, relax, and chat with a friend. We were there for happy hour, so everything was half price, and since we're all on this diet bet, no one was really eating much of anything and the guys got by on a $5 pitcher of Karl Strauss Summer Gold. As always, conversation moves to life in general, birthdays, and where we thought we'd be at this time when we were in our twenties. I have to admit, there were times when those conversations brought me to tears. A sense of mourning for a lost youth. All the things I didn't do, or hadn't accomplished on my "life list." It's amazing the games your mind plays on you to make you feel less than and unworthy.
The fact of the matter is there is nothing to mourn. There may be some small regrets, but nothing that should bring me to tears. The accomplishments may be of little thought to an outsider looking in, but they are accomplishments nonetheless. To have come so far, from so far away, and indeed, to have risen like a phoenix from the great abyss is no small feat.
Sure, it would have been great to have finished school and had a degree. But we chose marriage and children instead. It would have been wonderful to have the big house that all of the peers have. Beautifully decorated material palaces with pools and "things", amazing yearly vacations to exotic locales, a new car every two years, and private school for the kids. But we chose a one-income household in order to give our kids a stay at home Mom to raise them instead of signing that duty off to strangers at daycare.
Now, twenty some years down the line, we laugh about the fun that WAS, but also dream about the WHAT WILL BE. There is so much that, is indeed, yet to be. I look forward to it. I embrace it.
Bring it.
We went to "debriefing" with Ron last night. It's always nice after a long day to just sit, relax, and chat with a friend. We were there for happy hour, so everything was half price, and since we're all on this diet bet, no one was really eating much of anything and the guys got by on a $5 pitcher of Karl Strauss Summer Gold. As always, conversation moves to life in general, birthdays, and where we thought we'd be at this time when we were in our twenties. I have to admit, there were times when those conversations brought me to tears. A sense of mourning for a lost youth. All the things I didn't do, or hadn't accomplished on my "life list." It's amazing the games your mind plays on you to make you feel less than and unworthy.
The fact of the matter is there is nothing to mourn. There may be some small regrets, but nothing that should bring me to tears. The accomplishments may be of little thought to an outsider looking in, but they are accomplishments nonetheless. To have come so far, from so far away, and indeed, to have risen like a phoenix from the great abyss is no small feat.
Sure, it would have been great to have finished school and had a degree. But we chose marriage and children instead. It would have been wonderful to have the big house that all of the peers have. Beautifully decorated material palaces with pools and "things", amazing yearly vacations to exotic locales, a new car every two years, and private school for the kids. But we chose a one-income household in order to give our kids a stay at home Mom to raise them instead of signing that duty off to strangers at daycare.
Now, twenty some years down the line, we laugh about the fun that WAS, but also dream about the WHAT WILL BE. There is so much that, is indeed, yet to be. I look forward to it. I embrace it.
Bring it.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home