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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Chocolate Covered FAIL

I've learned that whenever I'm feeling blue, it's good for me to find something positive to do with myself. With Valentine's Day coming up, I knew I wanted to do some small thing for the people in my life. Don't have much money right now, so it can't be much...just a little thought. So, I pulled myself up by the ends of my frown and went "out there".

I had some melting chocolate left over from Christmas truffles, and figured now would be a good time to use those. But what would I use them on? I didn't really want to make more truffles. I'd done that, and though they were a huge success, I wanted to do something different and EASY. Keyword there; EASY. Apparantly, I don't do well with keywords.

As I was walking through the market; an epiphany! Stick with the Oreos, but instead of spending time grinding them to a pulp, why not just cover them whole? Yes! Chocolate covered Oreos! A great idea, and so EASY. You know what's coming, don't you? I bought two packages of Oreos and ran next door to Michael's.

Turns out Michael's was having a sale on all of their candy molds, and I happened to have a coupon, so basically, I got a cookie/candy mold for free. Yep, a candy mold made especially to pop an Oreo into and cover with chocolate. Bonus: the candy mold had hearts on it. Cute overload. I was excited to get home and get started before anyone got home. Oh, how surprised they were going to be when they get a load of how awesomely talented and clever I am. Yeah, yeah. It's my damn story, let me revel in glory for a minute or two.

I go home and start working. Smiling and whistling, my depression from days ago but a memory. At least that part of my plan was successful. The pictures on the candy mold packaging AND other people's pictures of the end result were spectacular. I'm creative. I'm artistic. I can do this!

Three hours, one hundred expletives, an Ellie with red chocolate on her head because she was underfoot and I tripped over her LATER...I decided that I was NEVER going to do this again. Then I remembered that twenty years ago, I made homemade candies for friends and family for Christmas and said the EXACT same words; "NEVERAGAIN!" Yep, I said it all smooshed up together in exasperation, just like that. I had to work fast before Charlie and the kids got home, so I quickly went digging through my craft boxes to find lollipop packaging and ribbon. I had to salvage this travesty. Thank goodness you can't screw up the flavor of chocolate and Oreos. Yeah, these are ugly. But at least the recipient can read the card attached that says; "I love you in a way that is much prettier than these." Then, they can close their eyes and eat them.

These clearly belong in an Amy Sedaris cookbook.