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Monday, December 29, 2008

Our Very Own "Kenneth"....But Smarter

Since graduation in May, Averie had been working at a well-known (but we won't name it here) production company in Los Angeles as a Producer's Assistant. The pay wasn't great, but she was getting production experience that she felt was invaluable. For the most part, the people she worked for were, in her words; "awesome". Except one woman in particular (who shall also go unnamed) that I liked to call "EB". The first word was "Evil". I'll let you figure out what the "B" was for. She made Averie's life a living hell. She actually KNEW how horrible she made Averie's world because she was very careful not to allow Averie to fetch her coffee or food. Smart cookie, that one. Not that Ave would actually DO anything to EB's lunch. It was just her mother thinking out loud. If nothing else, her position there at least allowed her to extend her resume and acquire her first listings on IMDb. Oh, and of course to affirm, by experience, that The Devil does indeed wear Prada, blames all her shortcomings on those around her, and screams "Where's my fucking Tylenol? Where the fuck is my Tylenol?" So yeah, all in all, a good time for Averie.

Right before Thanksgiving, Averie got a call from NBC. She had worked there as an intern at the Sci-Fi Channel while she was still in school and had applied to their Page program. She never heard back from them after graduation, so she figured she didn't make the cut and had to take this other job. The one with "EB". After all, a job's a job and there was rent to pay. Now it was 6 months later, and they were calling to offer her a coveted spot in the Page program. Curiously, the first thing she did was call her Daddy and ask his advice. You see, if she took this position, she would have to take a cut in pay from an already dismal payrate. Which basically means that she might need some help with rent.

Charlie told her that if she didn't take the job, we would both drive to LA and knock her into next week. Yes, it was a cut in pay. Yes, she'll be eating Top Ramen (but she was already used to that). Yes, PLEASE go back to that place you work at and tell EB to go find her OWN fucking Tylenol, and yes, of course we will help you get through the transition (Money? Savings? Huh?). NO, you absolutely cannot turn this opportunity of a lifetime down knowing full well that the NBC Page Program is harder to get into than Harvard. For heaven's sake...isn't it your DREAM to follow in the footsteps of Tina Fey and break into the "Boy's Club" of comedy writing? Could this be your chance to one day write for Conan O'Brien? Why even hesitate? Run Girl! Run! So with our blessing, she accepted the position, gave her two week notice to EB (who snubbed Averie the entire two weeks) and started her happy new life (for the next year, anyway) as a West Coast Kenneth at the Burbank studios on December 8th.

When she came home for Christmas, she carried with her two GIANT NBC manuals full of NBC history and trivia, which she is expected to memorize, along with her beautiful new gray Brooks Brothers uniform (YES I forced her to pose for the pictures). In celebration of their 75th anniversary, NBC has changed the uniforms from the old blue (like Kenneth's) to the Brooks Brothers gray. Apparantly, the pages are very, VERY happy. But I think OUR little Page girl is the happiest of all.

So..I wonder when I can get in to see The Tonight Show? I really DO know someone!