Crying in My Coffee

This morning, I had quite a few errands to run and I wanted to get an early start.  These weren't the kind of errands where I would run into anyone I knew, so I opted for comfort over style.  Oh, who am I kidding.  I ALWAYS opt for comfort over style.

"Pua's Comfort Ensemble" consists of jeans, Uggs (shut up), and an oversized University of Hawai'i hoody sweatshirt.  It fit the ADORABLE  football player that it formerly belonged to perfectly, but on me, it's...very roomy.  Still, it's my favorite sweatshirt.  This would also be known as "Pua's After-Surfing Ensemble" if we were down at the beach.  No one there would give it a second thought.  In hindsight, perhaps I, myself, should have given it a second thought and remembered that I wasn't going surfing.

One of my stops was the bank, but I was about 45 minutes early.   I knew beforehand that there would be periods of waiting involved at some of my stops, so I was happy that I had remembered to throw my Kindle into my bag before I ran out the door.  I decided to walk to the restaurant across the street, sit down, have a cup of coffee, and read a little while until the bank opened.  The server, we'll call him Gary, who ushered me to my seat asked if I'd like something to drink and I asked him for some coffee and water.  He nodded pleasantly and said he'd be right back with my coffee.   Upon his return, he put down my coffee, held out the menu and with a big smile... said; 

     "Here doll, we've got some GREAT specials for you on the breakfast menu." 

Thanking him and returning his smile, I looked at the menu; "Golden 55 Menu; For our guests 55 and over."  Now, I KNOW that I may be a bit overdue for a color job at my temples,  but, honestly, it's just a few gray strands.  And my "Comfort Ensemble" hardly gives off the senior citizen vibe.  The "I just got out of bed" vibe, maybe.  But not the card-carrying AARP vibe (shut up).  No way.  My smile quickly disintegrated, and when I looked up at my server, who, I might add, had a full head of gray hair, his smile went away too. 

    "Oh, well, of course they're great specials IF it applies to you." 

Seeing that this only makes me pout, he quickly adds;  "Umm..hold on dear, I'll get the regular menu." 

On his way back, another customer approaches him and he says; "Can I help you, Sir?"

The customer politely reminds him that she is not a "sir".  To which he apologizes and says he'll return momentarily.  He hands me the regular menu and then leans over to whisper;

     "Oh my god, how embarrassing was that?"

To which I responded; "Looks like you're on a roll, Gary."

If you'll excuse me, I have a date with a box of L'Oreal.  I bought it with Gary's tip.