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Friday, January 28, 2005

I Solemnly Swear...

I Solemnly Swear...

I received my notary bond and seal this week. It's funny; I've been looking forward to this for so long. Yet now, with all the excitement over Loke and I trying to start our little cottage industry, my efforts to become a notary and certified loan signing agent have taken a back burner. I got my commission on the 7th, but I didn't hightail it to the County Clerk's office to file my bond as quickly as I thought I would.

Just a few weeks ago, I was doing at least one job interview a week and leaving each feeling dejected, useless, and very, very old. Now, I'm looking at a tiny glimmer of hope. Hope that I won't have to go back into cold Corporate Ameria. Hope that I can make my OWN way, and not be a pawn in a ladder-climber's effort to reach the boss's backside. I'm too old to play that game anymore. Not to mention, I just don't have it in me. My fire to be a company sweetheart burned out two years ago. I miss the money, God knows so do our creditors, but I just don't feel like being raped anymore. If someone's gonna screw me, they're gonna tell me they love me while they're doing it.

So, in between the nut biz and the mom biz, which could very well be the same biz if you ask me, I've got 30 days to get down to the County Clerk, file my bond, and take my oath. That's right, 30 days. Let's do some math shall we? My commission came on the 7th. Today is the...MOTHER MARY! I gotta go! Now I'm flying around like a crazy woman, grabbing this paper and that paper while Averie watches me. I know she's thinking of a comedy routine while she observes. I've been the subject of more than one of her sketches. I have a feeling I'll be seeing myself portrayed a la Linda Richmond on SNL someday. Without the big hair and accent, of course. While I'm flitting about trying to get things together, I ask if she'd like to come with me since she's not working today. She accepts. Of course the offer to buy her lunch helped. She's gonna hit me for saying that. She came of her own sweet freewill. 'Cuz she loves me.

We make the trek into downtown Santa Ana. Whenever I drive to Santa Ana, which is as little as possible, I smile knowing that I'm still in the "OC", and yet worlds and worlds away. So much poverty so close to what people are being led to believe on a stupid tv show is ALL of Orange County, but this is our county seat; the heart of the barrio. I find a parking space close to the courthouse and Averie and I walk in. I'm a little nervous because I don't know quite where I'm going. I'm grateful to have her with me. She calms me with her humorous observations; "Stupid People" is one of her favorites. She never runs out of material.

After I fill out my notary application, Averie and I step up to a window with a nice lady ready to help me. Well ok, she wasn't nice to begin with. Your typical city government employee who looks like she hates her job; no smile, rules by rote, "next please" robotic routine. As she goes through my paperwork and makes sure everything is in order, Averie begins to chat with her. She asks her about her work and how interesting it must be. She says she must see quite a lot of notaries come through here a day. In just a short time, she has changed this woman's frowny face and morose demeanor from harsh, to soft. The woman smiles and responds to Averie's inquiries accordingly. I watch a transformation before my eyes. My daughter is amazing. She paints "People Portraits" with her personality. I'm oftened awed by her.

Soon, I'm asked to raise my right hand and take my oath. I suddenly feel proud of my small accomplishment. This means I've done the work. This means I followed through. My daughter is standing next to me. It's a great feeling. Once I get to the "I DO" part, the recorder stamps my bond, smiles and says "That's it. You're hereby a Notary, recorded in the State of California, in the County of Orange, and you may begin in official capacity from this date until the date your commission expires." I look at Averie and she smiles and says "Good for you, Mommy." I notice that I'm still holding my driver's license for ID purposes and I ask the lady if she needs to see my identification:

Recorder Lady: Sweetie, you just took a solemn vow. If you're not who you say you are, then you just perjured yourself under oath and I can send you to jail.

Me: *blink* Oh. Okay. Thank you. (putting ID back in my wallet)

I take my paperwork, thank her, and Averie and I turn and walk out. We're silent for a few minutes.

Me: I feel silly. Duh.

She: (giggling) Well...

Me: Shut up.


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