Life Changes

 To be honest, I'm surprised that my blog benefactor Matt hasn't given up and just let my page go the way of The Dodo (not the internet sensation that posts cute, happy animal videos) 🦤. It's been over two years, and the last two entries were sad. Everytime I opened the site thinking I was going to write something, or at least do an update, it all seemed so overwhelming that I just let out a very heavy sigh and signed out. Admittedly, I did find myself trying desperately on multiple occasions to drag myself out of that ever-evolving abyss that seems to be my contant lurking shadow. Try as I may, I am who and what I am, and I have finally come to a place of resolve (but not peace) in that reality. 

That said, for this new year, now two years and nearly four months forward from my last post, I will bravely, but not blithley, attempt to bring this new offering of cookies back to its warm place whilst keeping the accompanying libation within easy chasing reach. I owe that to Matt for keeping this here for me, and to Toddy who named it what it came to be (and whom I dearly miss). I hope I do them both proud by trying again. 

No, 2024 did not end the way I'd hoped. No, 2025 won't be what I expected. Challenges are definitely coming. But I have to try a new, more positive way to come to terms, ney, to live the life we worked so hard for and appreciate how far we have come. I have to try to revel in joy again instead of fear. I'm never going to be the Positive Pollyanna I wish I could be. It's just not in my DNA. But even at 64, the wisdom of Yoda aside, I MUST try. THAT, I owe to Charlie, and especially to myself. Of this, I am entirely deserving.

Come, New Year. E Komo Mai. Let's do this.