Frank Zappa Was Right

I made a promise to myself to stay out of the political commenting fray of Facebook a little over 2 weeks ago.  While I have felt better and my blood pressure has stabilized, that doesn't mean it hasn't been difficult. I am a creature of habit and passion. As time (and the current state of national and international affairs) has become the "enemy", I find my inner soul clinging to the Dylan Thomas poem; "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night". However, when it comes time to rage against the dying of the light, I'm literally screaming silently into the ether. Okay, sometimes not so silently.

You see, the social media branch of the place of faces has this little feature that lets you know when friends of yours have commented on some page that you are not necessarily familiar with.  And if you're very new to curbing your opinion, it allows you to click your way into that unfamiliar page, see what your friend posted, and see what others have posted.  DAMMIT! So, while I have been a very good girl about not posting political stuff on my own page, I have not been so successful with curtailing the Nosey Nellie inside me and letting that recently repressed social activist wave her flag. I suppose that's a form of cheating. But I hate cheaters, and even though we've learned in a very big way that cheaters DO prosper, I don't want to be associated with hypocrites or cheaters. So that needs to stop.

I can't do anything about other people posting things that I disagree with other than just scroll by. You say; "But Pua, you CAN unfriend them." Yes, that is true. I can and have done that. The problem with that however, is that sometimes those people are of the same opinion as you in most things, they just don't always check their facts. There was a time that I would, behind the scenes, gently and hopefully diplomatically remind them that the source or content of their meme or their shared post wasn't entirely fully factual, or up to date.  In my mind, that's no different than screaming about uranium sales, birth certificates, or Libyan cities on the Mediterranean Sea coast. If we stoop to that ploy and refuse to evolve, we're no different than they are. So there I sit; silently scrolling by, leaving no reactive "like," "love," "wow," "sad," or "angry" emoji, even if I know that politically we agree.

Which leads me to those friends/acquaintances who I love and care about with whom, politically and socially, I am unequally yoked. My simple solution has been to "snooze" them for 30 days. I have often wondered, while I'm snoozing them, if they've already blocked or unfriended me and I'm giving them way more grace than they have afforded me. Then I wonder why I care. Weird the way that plays out sometimes. I've laughed out loud at myself and thought; "Pua, you are some piece of work." I am, if nothing else, a living embodiment of dichotomous thinking. And so it goes.

I have recently done something I consider very, very brave. I have confirmed the friend requests of people who have been "waiting in the wings" that I KNOW for a fact are on the opposite political, cultural, social, and economic plane than myself. To be very clear, and very fair, it does not mean I don't like or admire these people. It's just that I know that politically, we don't agree. We have common goals and missions with regard to volunteerism, but I'm sure, had they seen some of my posts, they would have never requested being a FB friend. That's not conjecture. That's fact.

With having decided these weeks ago to stop posting political memes or getting into commentary, and having replaced those posts with "happy" shit (GAG - another thing that makes my skin crawl a bit...I don't care who you are, NO ONE is happy every single day), I figured it was "safe".  I'm calling it, for lack of a better term, a "distraction". It will serve a two-fold purpose; a) it will hopefully make me think twice before I have a knee jerk reaction to some uninformed untruth someone posts, and b) it will hopefully help me to concentrate more on action. It's one thing to be a keyboard warrior. It's another thing to put your money where your mouth is. I want to concentrate more on doing.

I have come to the conclusion that the face place and the birdie site are never going to change the minds of people. Minds have been and are already where they are destined to be. Those sites just anger the masses into a froth (I know because I've been frothy) and ruffle feathers (I know because I've had fluffy feathers). I have seen the miraculous changing of minds over intimate fireside chats with beers, blunts, and doses of  human kindness where the voice of the biblical hero entices; "Come, let us reason". Nothing is going to change because I post or comment on something I find abhorrently wrong or inhumane. I will in future, as my very wise and very mature children have modeled for me, STFU about it, and let others do what they will. After all, they're doing it better than me.  I'm going back to blogging (have you noticed?) If you really look at it, the most comments or reactions have come when I've posted about Kili or the kids. Which is why I don't have a personal InstaGram page...Kili does.  I'm going to keep it that way, because in the big picture, Zappa was right.

Vial of Life

MAY 9, 2019 UPDATE: Last night, at our Executive Board Meeting, our ALA291 Treasurer, Karen Karanickolas, who has been instrumental in helping me push this program forward by facilitating procurement of the Vial of Life stickers, handed me a box of stickers she received this week. We were both quite giddy with excitement because this means we can begin making the Vial of Life packets at the post for anyone that would like one. I will be making an announcement at our next General Meeting on May 15th about scheduling a packet making night at the post. We just need to get our Community First Responders on board.

Last month, as many of you know, I went up to Washington State for 2 weeks to hang out with my dear friend Hap ("my mother from another brother"). She lives with my "brother from another mother" Wes (or vice-versa).  It gave Wes a little time to thaw out from a long winter, visit with his son, and have some time with friends.  While I was there, I noticed a red sticker with a white cross on Hap's front door, and also the same sticker on her fridge. I asked her about it and she explained the whole Vial of Life program her community (Anacortes, Washington) has adopted, with the blessing of their city's first response units.  Since it's adoption and implementation in their city, countless lives have been saved.

Upon my return home, I couldn't stop thinking about the Vial of Life program. I STILL can't stop thinking about it. It's weighing so heavily on my heart that I can't sleep. I'm the Community Services Chair of American Legion Auxiliary Unit 291, and I thought that this could be a wonderful Community Services Outreach Project for our Auxiliary. So I did some research.  According to World Population Review, in 2017-2018 the population of Costa Mesa is 113,825. Of that, 90,012 are adults, 11,821 of whom are seniors (over age 65).  The American Community Survey informs us that there are 42,476 households in Costa Mesa.  I can only imagine, with those numbers, how many lives could be saved in a resident emergency situation if our own wonderful first response units had the assistance of this kind of information at their disposal when they arrive on scene. They see a sticker in the window of the home, and know they have medical information about the homeowner in the fridge/freezer that could be the difference between life and death.

That said, I took my information and presented it to my Auxiliary at our General Meeting last week, and received overwhelming support and a green light to go ahead with this as a Community Service project. My heart absolutely SWELLED with pride! Our unit is under the jurisdiction of the Newport Harbor American Legion Post 291, and so because I live in Costa Mesa, but our post is in neighboring Newport Beach,  I will be presenting this very same program  to the mayors of Newport Beach and Costa Mesa in the hope they might consider adopting it in their communities as a whole.

The best part about the Vial of Life program is that it is ABSOLUTELY FREE.  Anyone can go to VialofLife.com and download the medical form, the stickers, and get all the information necessary to make their own Vial of Life.  The problem is, the most vulnerable demographic of folks who would benefit sometimes do not have computers, have access to computers, or even have a desire to mess with any technology.  That's why our Auxiliary will be making up Vial of Life kits FREE OF CHARGE and distributing them to anyone who would like to have one.

The catch is that the program can only be successful if our first responders are aware of its existence. If they are called to a home with a sticker on the door notifying them that the person is a Vial of Life participant, but they aren't aware of the program and don't know there is a precious cache of information about their patient in the fridge/freezer, then the program is of no service to that person.

I really believe in my soul that this program could save countless lives. In Hap's town, residents can actually pick up a pre-assembled Vial of Life kit at their library, hospital, police station and fire department. I would LOVE to see this happen in our community as well, and it's become a personal mission to make that come to fruition.

If you're reading this, I'm going to assume you're a friend or family member, because that's really the only ones who read my blog. That also means that you're probably someone that I love, adore, or care about.  So please, as a favor to me, go to Vialoflife.com and make yourself a FREE Vial of Life life-saving packet. That would mean the world to me.

Meet Me in St. Louis

Stonehenge 2007

Bath 2007

Graduation Day 2008

Mexico 2012

Hi Mom! 1989

Dad Smooches 1990

Tomorrow, at o'dark thirty, my "baby" is off on another work adventure. This time to St. Louis. Just as when the girls begin new journeys in life, and no matter how old they are, I'm proud as heck, but I can't deny the twinge in my heart. 

The longing for a day when all they lived for was a cuddle, the whimsical joy of a story told, and the safety of them being in your protective embrace replaced with a morsel of worry. That's a given. It will never change.

I send him off, yet again, into a world that may not envelop him in a warm hug. But, also into another opportunity at growth, change, and success (monetary gain notwithstanding).

Proud mom? To be sure. Three times over. That doesn't mean that saying goodbye isn't hard. It is. Every single time. So instead I'll say; A hui ho, Grommet. Remember to call your mother every now and then. She loves you.