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Thursday, May 27, 2004

Computer Troubles Can't Hinder Important Thoughts

So the computer has been on the fritz for a couple of days. It was fine, until Charlie tried to add some new and exciting (for him) program to it. Now, we're lucky if we're able to get online for a couple minutes at a time. So, Celinda, I apologize for cutting off so quickly this morning. Grrrrrrrr, so frustrating. I've been asking to get the scanner up and running for MONTHS now because that's something we all use. But instead, he goes and buys this elaborate and expensive video editing program that we REALLY don't need. Boys and their toys.

I should be very excited about taking off for New York. But I have some apprehension. I feel like a heel because I won't be here for Averie's Comedy Club show. All the hard work and excitement leading up to it, and now I won't even get to see it. I thought it would be okay because Charlie would be there, but then, yesterday, it dawned on me that Charlie would be driving Caris and I to the airport at 6. Averie's show is at 7. If you know anything about LAX traffic and getting back to Orange County, well, then you know the likelihood of him making it in time is minimal at best.

I feel like I've poured so much time and energy into all the things that have been taking place in Caris' world, that I haven't had as keen an eye on Averie's world. I suppose in my effort to make some wrongs right in some areas, I've fallen short in an area that has always come so easily to me. Averie and I have a great relationship. I know she's my daughter, but I also know that she's the type of person that I'd be friends with. She's intelligent, warm, caring, funny as hell, and she has a big and tender heart. I love my time with her and it's always a very easy groove. We can talk about everything and I love that she shares her thoughts and dreams with me. I think I always took for granted that that's the kind of relationship that I would have with all my kids. I treasure this special friendship I have with her. The best part is, I know that she knows that she can come to me with anything at anytime and I will be here for her.

Averie, I just want you to know that I adore you. I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of your efforts to turn the disappointments in your life into things that you find joy in. I admire that you stepped outside of your fears and learned over this past year to think outside the box. I love that you've let your talent and your humor shine out and now other people will see what I and the people that know you have always seen. Your fan base will only get bigger and bigger. But please remember who has always been and always will be your biggest fan. So even though I'll be sitting on a plane, my thoughts and spirit are with you at the Black Box Theater. I love you very much. Make 'em laugh, Baby. Make 'em laugh!


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